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Funny Men Quotes and Sayings
 
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IVONA currently speaks seven different languages with nineteen voices. http://zfer.us/gln4w American English: Salli, Ivy, Kimberly, Kendra, Jennifer, Joey, Eric and Chipmunk Skippy American Spanish: Penelope, Miguel British English: Emma, Amy and Brian Welsh English: Geraint, Gwyneth Welsh: Geraint, Gwyneth German: Marlene, Hans French: Celine, Mathieu Castilian Spanish: Conchita, Enrique Polish: Maja, Ewa Jacek and Jan Romanian: Carmen Funny Men Quotes and Sayings. Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman. Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare. Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control. To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'. I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back. My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others. Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' -- they leave skid marks. There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn't believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it. You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That's why I never take baths. A man in the house is worth two in the street. A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over. The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest. Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools. Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. I only like two kinds of men, domestic and foreign. A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands. Man has will, but woman has her way. If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. Women don't make fools of men most of them are the "do-it-yourself" types. Men are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her. Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire -- they're exactly alike. All modern men are descended from a worm-like creature, but it shows more on some people. There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. "Women marry men with the hope they will change. "And they are both disappointed." Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Old Man Sayings | Pawn Stars
 
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Watch this video and hear a collection of phrases and sayings used by Richard "Old Man" Harrison. The guys in the shop are always entertained by the things that come out of his mouth. About Pawn Stars Pawn Stars continues with new episodes from season twelve of the hit series about a family-run LA pawnshop. The Chum-Sake sees the guys check out an entire sheet of test notes from the U.S. Mint's test of a new printing press, while in Corey's Big Splurge the team get nostalgic for the 80's as they check out a replica of the proton pack from "Ghostbusters." Watch more HISTORY. Find out more on https://www.historyasia.com Subscribe to HISTORY on YouTube : https://www.youtube.com/user/historyasiatv Like HISTORY on Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/HISTORYasia Follow HISTORY on Twitter : https://www.twitter.com/HistoryAsia
Views: 20383 HISTORY Asia
The TOP 70 FUNNIEST Tombstones EVER | Alonzo Lerone
 
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Official “The TOP 70 FUNNIEST Tombstones EVER” video by Alonzo Lerone. Subscribe to see new Alonzo Lerone first: http://bit.ly/22YprBz More Important stuff below :) send me stuff to PO BOX 4687 Wilmington, NC 28406 Watch More Alonzo Lerone: Dumbest FAILS Of The Internet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zxg8RCsRvzY&list=PLqWamYnsxbyuCM0LyihersD5qxDQwamwf Reactions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj9xvioEv8I&list=PLqWamYnsxbyvgCHKaLOtm0cdXtysYynle Challenges: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtWXbaVHhps&list=PLqWamYnsxbyutGQINHZsjNgY1Jm7uhG1d Popular Videos: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vsYcVcwPhE&list=PLqWamYnsxbysaCy3rnIaQOxiOfvBMeKOE Follow Alonzo Lerone On: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ItsAlonzo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alonzolerone/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/alonzolerone SnapChat: https://www.snapchat.com/add/alonzolerone Alonzo Lerone Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/alonzolerone _ Codes for you =) FREE RIDES! Uber code “tryfree26" for $15 credit | Lyft code “AV25” for $50 credit Toothbrush I use - http://www.vpwow.com/alonzoelite for a 70% discount Welcome to the official YouTube channel of comedian/entertainer Alonzo Lerone. Looking for comedy, or just a good laugh? You’re in luck! On this channel, you’ll find a variety of fail compilations showcasing the internet’s funniest and dumbest fails curated by Alonzo Lerone from Twitter, Facebook, advertisements, and much more. source: mental floss / bored panda / pinterest / mental floss / funny jokes quote saying
Views: 5100757 Alonzo Lerone
vines i quote on the daily
 
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i know its a bit late since vine died many moons ago but this upload is honestly for my own enjoyment :) subscribe?
Views: 17873283 senpaixsammy
TOP 50 Funniest SENIOR QUOTES of 2018 | Alonzo Lerone
 
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Official “TOP 50 Funniest SENIOR QUOTES of 2018” video by Alonzo Lerone. Subscribe to see new Alonzo Lerone first: http://bit.ly/22YprBz Alonzo Lerone Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/alonzolerone send me stuff to PO BOX 4687 Wilmington, NC 28406 Watch More Alonzo Lerone: Dumbest FAILS Of The Internet: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbyuCM0LyihersD5qxDQwamwf Reactions: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbyvgCHKaLOtm0cdXtysYynle Challenges: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbyutGQINHZsjNgY1Jm7uhG1d Popular Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbysaCy3rnIaQOxiOfvBMeKOE Follow Alonzo Lerone On: Facebook: https://facebook.com/ItsAlonzo/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/alonzolerone/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/alonzolerone Snapchat: https://snapchat.com/add/alonzolerone _ Codes for you =) FREE RIDES! Uber code “tryfree26" for $15 credit | Lyft code “AV25” for $50 credit Toothbrush I use - http://www.vpwow.com/alonzoelite for a 70% discount Welcome to the official YouTube channel of comedian/entertainer Alonzo Lerone. Looking for comedy, or just a good laugh? You’re in luck! On this channel, you’ll find a variety of fail compilations showcasing the internet’s funniest and dumbest fails curated by Alonzo Lerone from Twitter, Facebook, advertisements, and much more. Source: buzzfeed / seventeen / thechive / Pinterest / twitter extra: do you want a shoutout from me? Go to http://cameo.com/alonzolerone and I can do that for you :)
Views: 6173912 Alonzo Lerone
Stupid Inspirational Sayings!
 
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A tribute to all those people who post those beautiful inspirational sayings everyday... See bloopers and BTS here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH-1b4styWQ&feature=youtu.be Order my book "how to write good" http://higatv.com/ryan-higas-how-to-write-good-pre-order-links/ Just Launched New Official Store https://www.gianthugs.com/collections/ryan HigaTV Channel http://www.youtube.com/higatv Twitter http://www.twitter.com/therealryanhiga Facebook http://www.facebook.com/higatv Website http://www.higatv.com Instagram http://www.instagram.com/notryanhiga Send us mail or whatever you want here! PO Box 232355 Las Vegas, NV 89105
Views: 5760752 nigahiga
Funny but Wise Sayings
 
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Funny but Wise Sayings inspirational quotes Thank you for watching! Kisses💋💋💋 If you like the MUSIC: Tiptoe Out the Back - Dan Lebowitz from YouTube Audio Library
Views: 191 Julie Jersey
Clever Gravestones By People Whose Sense Of Humor Will Live Forever
 
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Clever Gravestones By People Whose Sense Of Humor Will Live Forever Like our facebook page: https://goo.gl/aQ1m4g Join our facebook group "Scoop Family": https://goo.gl/WivD1V People's last words stick with us for a long time, but memory fades and stone doesn't. Unless you get cremated and your ashes end up in an ugly urn, your remains get a grave, and together with it - the last opportunity to entertain those who drop by for a visit. Bored Panda has compiled a list of some of the funniest epitaphs on tombstones, proving that a sense of humor can live forever. From a delicious fudge recipe to an unapologetic joke about religion, these people are the non-living examples of the right attitude. Don't forget to like and subscribe! Check our new website: www.ScoopVirals.com source of photos in the video: https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-tombstones-epitaphs ***********************--------------****** Other videos: Hippo Photobombs Couple’s Engagement Pics, And Now They’re So Much Better https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXRchdoPecs Worst Design Decision Award Goes To.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg_224OdLbc What If Movies Stories Happened In Real Life? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9snwwKUpRME Mom Recreates Her Model Brother Photos With Her Son And It Is Hilarious https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt3KXzuY7y4 Teen Reports Her Boss For Sexual Harassment Gets Panic Attack After Seeing Boss’s Response https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOHhc9q8xLI 11 Year Old Girl’s Epic Break Up Text After She Finds Out He’s Cheating https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MgIWNHngoA Guy Catches His GF Cheating In Bed With Another Man Had An Unexpected Reaction https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlZaL2U4yCQ Funny Mothers-In-Law With A Sense Of Humor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTZb2MdXMas Guy’s Reaction To Stray Dog Peeing On His Back Enrages The Internet, But Things Take Unexpected Turn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXwsDxiWHq4 Dog Groomer Opens Shop In Middle Of Night To Give Stray Dog Haircut https://youtu.be/b6DDyt6-Lr8 Times Pets Were Total Jerks, But It Made Us Laugh Anyway https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw50BlKRq1g Bored Employees Who Obviously Had Too Much Time On Their Hands (Part 2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjVqHVq3eps The Most Epic Responses To Ex Texts https://youtu.be/VnfyE6fm3So The Best Wedding Photos Of 2017 Will Absolutely Amaze You HD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaEDtEqh8So These Pets Were Caught Red Handed https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyCxPFmxvWA Strongest Video Ever To Describe Divorce.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwHswp6Vg1o These People Won't Stay Alive For Too Long... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNFGtmIzzB4 Have You Ever Seen These Fruits Peeled? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWTer_qPlI8 The Struggles Of Being Left Handed... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gj7pCpCBzDs Cheating Husband Texts Married Woman, And Her Unexpected Response Is Going Viral https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiG_VytNtuI Worst Architecture Decision Award Goes To... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBy38HQvMG4 Girlfriends vs Boyfriends Same Instagram Posts Different Captions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVa3AsVUldA Dentists With A Sense Of Humor You Wish You Had An Appointment With https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QU2-1wgeJfc Funny Greeting Cards That Will Surprise You When You Open Them https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-iJ04Luam4 Pics About Anxiety That Only Anxious People Will Truly Understand https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpFfo-UOPBQ These Ideas Are Just Genius (Part 3) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnF-i3EK9KE Architects, You Had One Job And Still Failed... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jny00Hb2IaU Hot Girl Takes Selfies With The Catcallers And Write How They Called https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPPjYOFRYkY Pets Brought Their Owners The Most Unexpected Gifts (Part 2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMOg_0KTKNE Incredible Coincidences That Are Hard To Believe Have Actually Happened (Part 2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJz6kooKPCg These Grandpas Are More Badass Than You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLLyiBn7zrE British Woman Destroys Scammer In The Most Brilliant Way https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX7m-RiqRWo Hilarious Couples Sharing Embarrassing Childhood Photos Of Their Partners https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLj4RMq2cIo Pics That Prove Your Parents Were Cooler Than You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-OXlxzrceM These Ideas Are Just Genius (Part 2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBDe6p5PMxk Hilarious People Brilliantly Trolled Protesters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmYtQ5oaMQM Perfectly Timed Photography Shots https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XgvIJqNdVs These Ideas Are Just Genius https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHgJJqw_OQs Funny People Shared Too Much Personal Information And Regretted Deeply https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNhwOESxjZo
Views: 2590109 Scoop
Funny Compilation of Kali Muscle (Quotes & Sayings) | Kali Muscle
 
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Subscribe to Fan that put the video together: http://full.sc/1oujZFd Funny Compilation of Kali Muscle (Quotes & Sayings) | Kali Muscle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2imFRBdJ8s Kali Muscle https://www.youtube.com/user/KaliMuscle
Views: 473196 Kali Muscle
Words of Wisdom and Funny Sayings!
 
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Words of Wisdom and Funny Sayings!
Views: 500 ChemTrailsMN
Funny famous quotes - top 10 best funniest, worth laughing quotes and sayings
 
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Top 10 best funny famous quotes of famous people. 1. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. 2. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. 3. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. 4. First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. 5. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 6. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. 7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 8. By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. 9. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. 10. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Subscribe our channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqDcEyjJMhreSZZQDu-Qxrw Some more videos: Life Quotes:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQ9J6hwxHtc Love Quotes:- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rk_tn_t11g Find us on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bestquotes45 funny quotes | funny famous quotes | funny quotes and sayings | famous funny quotes | funny inspirational quotes | funny motivational quotes | top 10 funny jokes
Views: 49272 Life Quotes
Man you're alright - Funny Sayings
 
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funny sayings
Views: 25 DELTA DJ
Dolan Twins// Best Sayings (Funny)
 
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thank you guys so much for over 50 subs! like and subscribe or leave a comment :) https://www.youtube.com/catescott ig: https://instagram.com/cate.scott // https://instagram.com/exgdolan twitter: https://twitter.com/shattereddolans
Views: 465767 cate scott
Witty, Funny and Wise Sayings And Quotes
 
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Witty, Funny and Wise Sayings And Quotes Enjoy this video. perfect for you msn message box Music Download: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F6K1AABF
Views: 32358 James Keating-Louth
Funny Acceptance Quotes And Sayings
 
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Funny Acceptance Quotes Ande Sayings, Acceptance Quotes About: Inspirational Life Change Moving Forward Forget The Past Live For Today Doing Your Best Appreciate Life Inspirational Relationships Being True To Yourself True Love True Friend Worth Appreciation Mistakes Errors Faults Blame Character Reputation Being Imperfect Finding Love Love Advice Trust In God Encouragement Uplifting Strong Women Religious Love Life Lesson Reality Letting Go Song Lyrics Broken Heart Relationship With God Committment Faith Healing Deep Love Feelings Past Love Past Relationships Understanding People Being Different People Change Things Happen For A Reason
Views: 2603 Nata Fly
Best of Macho Man Vol. 1
 
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Macho Man cut some of the best wrestling promos of all time. His combination of intensity and unique delivery was something that placed a stamp on his legacy in wrestling history! Enjoy Volume 1!
Views: 1381923 The Jobbers
Best of Peter Griffin HD
 
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Views: 1457163 American Dad!
Funny Sayings on Signs
 
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A funny video of funny road signs. Check out my website: http://newfullsuspensionmountainbikes.blogspot.co.uk Also Check out my other videos, there funny: Funny Pics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE2DnsQnn08 Cute Cat Pictures: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKW4AfWKy2k Fun Facts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoAIVAyYJ-Y&feature=relmfu Flight Simulator X: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJ2pAofhz80&feature=relmfu OR go to my channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/filmmaker909?feature=mhee
Views: 1316 filmmaker909
Really Funny Sayings & Life Quotes. Best Short Sayings & Quotes About Life.
 
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Really funny life saying. Very funny life quotes that are short, hilarious and simply the best. Great exremely and popular funny life quotes & sayings for everyone to enjoy! Watch more funny sayings & life quotes videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp9OpHAy7aVI_QH-EFgL4YNCFcWPku4-y Check Out The Funny Jerk Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/Thefunnyjerk Funny Joke Of The Day: http://www.TheFunnyJerk.com
Views: 12151 The Funny Jerk
Funny Quotes and Sayings
 
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Funny Quotes and Sayings: I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. All generalizations are false, including this one. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out. I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. The next time you have a thought... let it go. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Don't be sad because of people - they will all die. I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends. I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Views: 2904 LTquotes
Funny Quotes and Sayings
 
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Be happy and laugh by reading the best funny quotes and humor sayings. Browse http://www.best-quotes-poems.com for more funny, humor and laugh quotations and sayings.
Views: 48157 bestquotes
Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings
 
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IVONA currently speaks seven different languages with nineteen voices. http://zfer.us/gln4w American English: Salli, Ivy, Kimberly, Kendra, Jennifer, Joey, Eric and Chipmunk Skippy American Spanish: Penelope, Miguel British English: Emma, Amy and Brian Welsh English: Geraint, Gwyneth Welsh: Geraint, Gwyneth German: Marlene, Hans French: Celine, Mathieu Castilian Spanish: Conchita, Enrique Polish: Maja, Ewa Jacek and Jan Romanian: Carmen Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings. My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of , Lord-only-knows Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age. For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years. Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened. Age is a number and mine is unlisted. When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm five I'll be 64. Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life. When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. After 30, a body has a mind of its own. If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes. I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday'. Looking fifty is great -- if you're sixty. The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. Like many women my age, I am 28 years old. People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake. The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape. When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. There is still no cure for the common birthday. You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
Funny Women Quotes and Sayings
 
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Funny Women Quotes and Sayings. If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. I like my whisky old and my women young. Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one. Most women are not as young as they are painted. What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman. From 40 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 40 feet away. I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's fine. Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing. To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money. What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's -- That's because she changes it more often. No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing. I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships. When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn't she behave like a nice man ? Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want? Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire? Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends'. The man's desire is for the woman; but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking. Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions. Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water. Women are an alien race set down among us. Women... can't live with 'em... can't shoot 'em. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good? Luckily, this is not difficult. When women go wrong, men go right after them. If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable. A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised. Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse. I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against. Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man. I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighter shaking hands. One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
Funny Quotes And Sayings
 
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Ladies Click Here : http://www.epicvoz.com/women This is a dating & relationship program for women which reveals how to access the impulsive part of any man's mind & make him go crazy for you. Let Me Know What You Think. Gentleman Click Here http://www.epicvoz.com/men Dating & relationship program geared towards men. Let Me Know What You Think A Collection Of Funny Quotes, and Sayings Laughter is perhaps one of the most important and necessary ingredients of a happy and fulfilling life. It is a free medicine that keeps you away from all other medicines. It keeps you fit and healthy, physically and mentally. One of the best ways to keep your laughter motor running smoothly is funny life quotes. There are various different ways of using funny life quotes and here are few ideas that you may find very useful. Use them as a Tattoo - If you love having a Tattoo on your body, then you might consider putting funny life quotes on your body as a tattoo. You never run out of option as there are countless numbers of funny quotes about life available for you to choose from. In fact, today it is the trend of putting funny and humorous quotes on body. So go ahead, find out some funny quotes on life that represent your inner self and tattoo them on your body. Use them in your college scrapbook - Another great way to use them is to put them in your college scrapbook. If you have elaborated your college scrapbook with all those funny college pictures of your friends, then adding Funny Life Quotes in it is like Ice on the cake. Adding a funny quote below your picture can make your college scrapbook look more beautiful and expressive. So pick a few quotes and use them in your scrapbook and make it more expressive. Use them in your online profile - You can use them in your profile in social networking websites. It is your profile that decides other people's opinion about you. So your profile should be impressive and expressive. It should be something that represents your true personality. Using a funny Life Quotes in your social networking websites profile will make you come across as a very humorous, full of life and friendly person. Use them on a birthday card - Another great option to consider if you want to use Funny Life Quotes is to add them on birthday card you sent to your friends on their birthday. It's a great way to add a touch of fun and humor to your birthday card that will certainly bring smile on the face of person you are sending card to. So next time, whenever you send out a card to your near and dear ones, don't forget to include a good funny quote. Read them with your friends and family -It's a great fun and enjoyment to read them sitting with your friends and family. It makes you laugh out loud and at the same time it strong those precious bonds. So next time whenever you are together with your friends or family, consider opening a good website or taking a book containing humorous quotes about life. You'll all really enjoy. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/2663045 funny quotes, love quotes, quotes, funny inspirational quote, funny girl quotes, life quotes,
Views: 2791 Quotes
20 Funny Sayings Every Woman Can Relate To
 
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All the women are incredible, beautiful and unpredictable. Today, we are going to share some our favorite sayings, which every woman will understand and every man should take into account. Subscribe to Bright Side : https://goo.gl/rQTJZz ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Our Social Media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/brightside/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brightgram/ SMART Youtube: https://goo.gl/JTfP6L 5-Minute Crafts Youtube: https://www.goo.gl/8JVmuC ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For more videos and articles visit: http://www.brightside.me/
Views: 58672 BRIGHT SIDE
Funny Sayings/Quotes
 
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Some of my favorite sayings and quotes from around the internet. Hope you enjoy them.
Views: 220537 Warlock0622
TOP 5 DAEQUAN FUNNIEST SAYINGS ALL OF TIME (Fortnite Battle Royale)
 
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OOOOGAAAA BOOOGAAAAA!!!! Watch daequan say the top 5 funniest sayings of all time in Fortnite Battle Royale Thanks for watching the video, hope you enjoyed. Please like, comment and subscribe for more content! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The legendary man of unlimited sayings: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJ9W-EexsJSMc4wMPOA9pA ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you have a request related to moments in this video, or this video in general, email - [email protected] If you want to be featured in one of our videos, send in your moments! - [email protected] (If there was mistake in credits, or you want something more, then contact us on Youtube or email - [email protected])
Views: 1824 Fortnite Clip It!
Funny Detention Slips & Funniest Kid Test Answers (PT 2) | Alonzo Lerone
 
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Official “Funny Detention Slips & Funniest Kid Test Answers (PT 2)” video by Alonzo Lerone. Subscribe to see new Alonzo Lerone first: http://bit.ly/22YprBz Check out important links below Follow Alonzo Lerone On: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ItsAlonzo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alonzolerone/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/alonzolerone SnapChat: https://www.snapchat.com/add/alonzolerone Alonzo Lerone Merch: http://shop.crowdmade.com/collections/alonzo-lerone _ Watch More Alonzo Lerone: Dumbest FAILS Of The Internet: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbyuCM0LyihersD5qxDQwamwf Reactions: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbyvgCHKaLOtm0cdXtysYynle Popular Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbysaCy3rnIaQOxiOfvBMeKOE Challenges: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbyutGQINHZsjNgY1Jm7uhG1d Welcome to the official YouTube channel of comedian/entertainer Alonzo Lerone. Looking for comedy, or just a good laugh? You’re in luck! On this channel, you’ll find a variety of fail compilations showcasing the internet’s funniest and dumbest fails curated by Alonzo Lerone from Twitter, Facebook, advertisements, and much more.
Views: 11584559 Alonzo Lerone
Funny Inspirational Quotes - Quotes And Sayings (inspirational quotes about life)
 
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funny inspirational quotes Follow Us On : Twitter : https://twitter.com/MotivationalV4S Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/MotivationVideos4Success Quotes About Being Happy : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlhbiFA4fyQ Funny Inspirational Quotes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Erp4F-nvsyM Become Self Confident by Brian Tracy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vEFzoMQR0g Subscribe for More Cool Videos : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPjy2qQQsQJhMpHd9VdolVw
Views: 14208 Motivation 4 Success
Famous Hilarious Quotes And Sayings
 
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Famous Hilarious Quotes. The best funny quotes you can find. Funny sayings about men, women, friendship, life and more. Hilarious Quotes classified on different topics. Enjoy these hilarious quotes & share them with your friends.
Views: 433 Nata Fly
FUNNY DETENTION SLIPS From REAL KIDS | TOP 60 School FAILS
 
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Official "FUNNY DETENTION SLIPS From REAL KIDS" video by Alonzo Lerone. Subscribe to see new Alonzo Lerone first: http://bit.ly/22YprBz Check out important links below Follow Alonzo Lerone On: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ItsAlonzo/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alonzolerone/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/alonzolerone SnapChat: @alonzolerone Alonzo Lerone Merch: http://shop.crowdmade.com/collections/alonzo-lerone _ Submit stuff to me HERE by Downloading my app! (links below) (Android) and (iOS) http://bit.ly/lerone http://bit.ly/alonzolerone Watch More Alonzo Lerone: Dumbest FAILS Of The Internet: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbyuCM0LyihersD5qxDQwamwf Reactions: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbyvgCHKaLOtm0cdXtysYynle Popular Videos: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbysaCy3rnIaQOxiOfvBMeKOE Challenges: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWamYnsxbyutGQINHZsjNgY1Jm7uhG1d Welcome to the official YouTube channel of comedian/entertainer Alonzo Lerone. Looking for comedy, or just a good laugh? You’re in luck! On this channel, you’ll find a variety of fail compilations showcasing the internet’s funniest and dumbest fails curated by Alonzo Lerone from Twitter, Facebook, advertisements, and much more.
Views: 9369045 Alonzo Lerone
FUNNY QUOTES AND SAYINGS
 
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some of my favirote quotes and sayings subscribe plz!
Views: 421653 abie m
Very Funny sayings and quotes LOL
 
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Peace,Love,and smile :D xoxoxoxo
Views: 134053 blueyoyo08alltheway
Funny cats and cat quotes and sayings
 
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Tons of gorgeous funny cats and hilarious quotes about them for real cal persons.
Views: 1449 Somerton Man
man sayings funny WOW WOW NICE
 
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WOW WOW NICE man sayings funny youtube pac man
Views: 17 Malik Waqas
funny sayings
 
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these are like the most funny sayings in the world. Hopefuly u find it funny
Views: 237 goodysrock
Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings
 
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IVONA currently speaks seven different languages with nineteen voices. http://zfer.us/gln4w American English: Salli, Ivy, Kimberly, Kendra, Jennifer, Joey, Eric and Chipmunk Skippy American Spanish: Penelope, Miguel British English: Emma, Amy and Brian Welsh English: Geraint, Gwyneth Welsh: Geraint, Gwyneth German: Marlene, Hans French: Celine, Mathieu Castilian Spanish: Conchita, Enrique Polish: Maja, Ewa Jacek and Jan Romanian: Carmen Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings. Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled, "Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong." When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished. Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose. A bachelor is a man who never makes the same mistake once. My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. I fell in love at first sight... I should have looked twice. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men. Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic. I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
FUNNY DUTCH SAYINGS IN ENGLISH!
 
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Let's go for 10000 likes! Subscribe for more videos! Check out more videos over here!: • Q&A Series: https://goo.gl/xZhMRZ • Challenge Series: https://goo.gl/svMoTG Check out My Friends!: • Jelly: https://goo.gl/w2433g • Slogoman: https://goo.gl/dSPx7S On my channel I play a bunch of amazing games! Such as Happy Wheels, GTA 5 and Minecraft! Check out my Socialmedia • Twitter: http://goo.gl/ISrwXq • Instagram: http://goo.gl/PqpyzL • Facebook: http://goo.gl/iiLIVA Outro Song: Can't Stop Won't Stop - Mighty & High https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPi3ZtReWBw Download on iTunes! - http://apple.co/21czIKx Intro song: [Nu Disco] - Televisor - Neon [Monstercat Release] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ew0By-5EL2g
Views: 500597 Kwebbelkop
Deadpool- Funniest Bloopers
 
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DEADPOOL BLOOPERS ARE HERE Most Bad ass movie of 2016 Everyone's favourite MUST WATCH TILL END. Most funniest compilation of most funniest superhero. Entertainment is here! Stay Tuned For More *MUST CHECKOUT THE CHANNEL FOR MORE BLOOPERS CONTENT* -~-~~-~~~-~~-~- Please watch: "Game of Thrones: S07E04 - Behind The Scenes" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGWgBSZab6g -~-~~-~~~-~~-~-
Views: 20250956 Desaur Studios
Finance sayings t-shirts. Funny sentiment baking t-shirts for men and women
 
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http://www.yourwebsite.com/tshirtspage Funny, cool t-shirts for the finance major, manager, director, bank women's men’s t-shirts.
Views: 3 Dow 30K
Best of Creed  - The Office US
 
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If he can't Scuba, what's all this for? Watch The Office US on Google Play: http://goo.gl/n2cswY & iTunes http://goo.gl/Fxi18S Subscribe // http://bit.ly/subOfficeUS This is the official YouTube channel for The Office US. Home to all of the official clips from the series, the funniest moments, pranks and fails. Think we should feature your favourite episode? Let us know in the comments! FB : https://www.facebook.com/theofficenbc Twitter : https://twitter.com/theofficenbc Website : http://www.nbc.com/the-office
Views: 6679868 The Office US
Funny HUNGARIAN sayings, expressions IN ENGLISH - part 1
 
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I've collected a few Hungarian expressions that I tried to use in the past while learning English. Sometimes people understood what I meant by them, but sometimes they just looked at me in a very strange way or the conversation ended up being very hilarious, haha. See what happens when the Hungarian brain takes over! The actual Hungarian expressions mentioned are: 8. Kenyérre lehet kenni 7. Amikor piros hó esik 6. Töröm rajta a fejem 5. Eszmefuttatás 4. Ez nekem kínai 3. Kevés vagy, mint Mackó sajtban a brummogás 2. Kopog a szemem az éhségtõl / Kopognak a szemeim az éhségtõl 1. Örül, mint majom a farkának
Views: 831 Petite Insight
Funny Sayings On T-Shirts
 
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these are just some expressions, words, etc. I found on t-shirts and figured i would share with the rest of you guys.
Views: 22739 blackfirehanyou
Funny Quotes About Life - Funny Sayings - Funny Famous Quotes By Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain & More
 
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Funny Quotes And Sayings About Life by Famous People: Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain & More. Please Subscribe, Share and hit the Like button :-)
Views: 123 tricks4fun
Best of Michael's Misquotes  - The Office US
 
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'That's sort of an oaky after-birth....' All the times Michael Scott would try words and phrases that were way out of his vocabulary Watch The Office US on Google Play: http://bit.ly/2xYQkLD & iTunes http://apple.co/2eW0rcK Subscribe: http://bit.ly/2y5VK8N This is the official YouTube channel for The Office US. Home to all of the official clips from the series, the funniest moments, pranks and fails. Think we should feature your favourite episode? Let us know in the comments! FB : https://www.facebook.com/theofficenbc Twitter : https://twitter.com/theofficenbc Website : http://www.nbc.com/the-office
Views: 2294806 The Office US
funny t shirt sayings for men
 
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funny t shirt sayings for men Find More funny and Cool Tshirts at http://coolfunnyshirts.info frankie says relax t shirt kids totally free t-shirts i love t shirts ebay long sleeve t shirts with hoodies plus size t shirt bras music geek t-shirts duck t shirt three wolf moon t shirt amazon free t shirts barack obama t-shirts free lil wayne t shirt uk t shirt hells angels buy johnny cash t shirts i love new york t-shirt damen online t-shirt generator dave matthews band t shirts 2009 kids green day t-shirt funny t shirts for kids uk printed t shirt bags jamaica retro t shirts sports eastbound and down kenny powers t shirts harley davidson joker t-shirt
Views: 44 theyodimabccfwchao
funny quotes and sayings
 
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here are some funny quotes and sayings that I found on the web. I do not own the pics or the music !! Enjoy !! Please rate and comment xx
Views: 8599 IlonaIsIdiotic

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