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► Paul Angelo, a Polish immigrant from Tarnów, is a gay matchmaker and a relationship coach working exclusively with gay professional men over 40 who are ready for a serious relationship and marriage. By 2016, Paul has spent over 7,000 hours coaching and guiding his clients in the areas of gay dating and relationships. With over 50 video testimonials and over 350 YouTube videos, Paul is the world’s leader in gay education about the psychology of romantic relationships and gay sexuality.
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► Video Summary:
Gay Life Mastery: 3 Issues in Gay Psychology Required for Success
Let me share with you, in the shortest possible way that I can, why shame, partner selection, and social engagement are the three key components to success on your journey to Gay Life Mastery.
Shame is a state that results from exposure to all kinds of negative messages about gay life. Now get this: over the course of ten, 20, sometimes 30 years you will be exposed to thousands of negative messages about gay identity, gay life, sexuality, existence, and even consciousness.
Now imagine how you store all of that in your unconscious mind, how you internalize it, to the point where the next time you hear it you no longer respond because you have become desensitized to it.
Let’s say I say something negative about you right now, something really negative. You would be offended. You would probably close down this video, saying, “Why is he criticizing me? I don’t like being criticized.”
That’s a natural response, but get this: the next time somebody says something negative about your gayness, about your gay identity, you’re going to completely overlook it.
Why? Because it has happened so many times that it’s become a part of you and you no longer defend it. That’s why shame is extremely destructive to everybody.
If you want to be successful in life, if you want to be a high achiever, to have love and an extraordinary social empire, you have to start by recognizing the effects of shame on your life and healing from that by getting help and talking about it, by being really authentic about your weaknesses and your insecurities, because you need to air all of that out. All of that shame has to come out; all of the thousands of negative messages about gay life that you’ve been exposed to have to be counteracted with positive messages. I hope that helps you to see that shame really is very destructive.